Motherhood. It’s one of the most amazing gifts God has given me. It’s also one of the hardest responsibilities that God has ever entrusted me with. Although there are so many rewarding times, there are some very trying times. You know that you can’t give up, that you must keep going, and when you are at the end of yourself….you cry to God for help.
Something God has been teaching me in the last few weeks is how little I depend on Him when times are “good”.
Honestly, I have forgotten what it feels like to feel “normal”. Sometimes I pray that I can just get out of bed to get the girls ready and to school each morning. The last six weeks our home has been plagued with sickness – from stomach viruses, bronchitis, respiratory infections and ear infections. For the last couple months, I have gotten about 4-6 hours a sleep a night of very interrupted sleep. Sometimes I feel that I can barely stand up, much less take care of the needs of 3 young kids. I started to question God…..I started to feel sorry for myself….I started to get very discouraged. Then I realized….this is exactly where God wants me to be right now. I know He has put me in this place so that I will learn to depend and trust in Him. The most important thing during this trial (or any trial) is how I respond. How I react to every situation, how I trust Him to take care of us, and how I have JOY through this time. My children will see and learn.
As I look back at the last couple months, I realize how many blessings God has given to me. My husband – Landon and I will be married for six years in November….out of those six years, I have been pregnant and sick for approximately 776 of those days! He has continued to show compassion and love to me. My beautiful children – They have been such a blessing to me. I’m still amazed that God has blessed me with three sweet girls, and one sweet little boy on the way. Our church – We have only been going to our church for about six months, but the relationships that we have already developed have been such an encouragement to me. I mentioned that our small group has been reading The Red Sea Rules. This has been the perfect study for me during this time. I realize that my “red sea” right now isn’t magnificent in comparison to others, but it has been something very hard for me to go through.
I was reminded on Sunday through our study to “be more concerned for God’s glory that my relief”. wow.
His plan is so perfect for our lives. If He brings us through suffering, it is so we can see how amazing His love and grace is for us. It is so that we can ultimately give Him glory.
Here’s a little bit from chapter 2:
“The Lord devises ways of turning difficulties into deliverances and problems into praise. He gives beauty for ashes and an attitude of worship for the spirit of heaviness. He will glorify His name in the lives of His children, whatever their afflictions. He will gain honor for Himself over our adversarial situations. In the process, He will leave behind such blessings as make the burdens melt away like wax in the sunshine.”
My prayer is no longer for Him to take the suffering away, but that I will hold on to His promises….to glorify Him in this situation….to have joy….and to give thanks.