Grace. My word for 2014. I post a lot of photos on facebook and instagram…we have happy times and we are all enjoying our sweet little Beckham while he is so little. What you don’t see in those happy photos is a mother seriously struggling…
There aren’t many moments of personal time when you have four kids under five. Between nursing every three hours, I’m scrambling to feed the girls, get them dressed, get them to school, spend quality time with them, and discipline consistently. Those are just the important necessities that I sometimes struggle to accomplish these days. The laundry, cleaning, working out, making myself a meal, reading a book, chatting with friends, checking my email/facebook….those are the tasks and luxuries that get the back burner…they happen IF I have the time. I’ve had to say “no” to many things I would love to do. I have made people upset because I’ve said no. I have been beating myself up over not being able to get everything done. I’ve worried to much about what people think. I’ve been frustrated, stressed and sad…because I’m trying to hold myself to such a high standard. All because I’m trying to attain perfection.
There are so many things that I WANT to do. I feel limited because right now in this season, we can’t get out very much. I want to build relationships with friends, I want to read more books, I want to start my little cupcake business up again, I want to start running again…BUT I have to also realize the amazing responsibility that God has given me by entrusting me with four sweet and beautiful children. I will have time for those things when this short season is over. Right now, my greatest responsibility is right here in my home. The kids will only be this little for such a short time. I want to embrace this season with JOY. I want to give grace…to my children, to others, and to myself just as God has so freely given to me time and time again.
“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
2 cor 12:9
One day I’ll have more time for “me”….and I know I will be so sad that I don’t have three girls asking me hundreds of questions a day, a baby boy who insists on holding my hand when he nurses, and four little children who need their mommy every minute of the day. All those things that are important to me can wait. I want to soak this time in and remember these moments, as difficult as they can be at times…because God has blessed me with SO much and I don’t want to miss out on the joy that comes with this sweet little season of life!