Last thursday morning at 3:30 I woke up in extreme pain, and had a fever and the shakes. I got in the shower to help relieve the pain, and ended up calling Landon’s name twenty times to wake him up to help me…I felt like I was going to pass out. Sounds like the flu, but I knew it was Mastitis. I’ve had it before, just not as extreme. Needless to say, it was a rough day. I’m so thankful for family that could help me out with the kids, because I could barely hold the baby and stand up at the same time. I also forgot to mention that I was scheduled for a double root canal that afternoon. I BEGGED Landon to let me cancel…but he wouldn’t let me. That’s how I got into my dental mess in the first place. They analyzed the two teeth, and decided that only one tooth needed the root canal. I left that place teeth chattering, ibuprofen in hand, racing home to get to my breast pump for relief. I’m still struggling with the mastitis and milk production, but I do feel like I can at least function.
All that to say….I woke up yesterday morning with a negative attitude. I was stressed, tired, irritable. I didn’t have time to take a shower before all the kids woke up, and I didn’t make time to spend with God. All I wanted to do was crawl back in bed…but there were hungry mouths to feed, thousands of questions to be answered, a little bottom to change, bills to be paid, dishes in the sink, laundry screaming my name, dinner to be made….and the list goes on. My negative attitude only got worse throughout the day. I kept asking myself why the kids were acting up so much yesterday, later realizing they were just feeding off my attitude and emotions. I sat on the living room floor after they went to bed, and realized how much I need Jesus. That no matter how sick, or how exhausted I am….I need to start my day with Him. Everything else will fall into line. So this morning after Beckham’s 4 a.m. feeding I stayed awake. I looked up verses about God’s love and strength. The stress…the exhaustion…the loneliness I have been feeling…all seemed to just melt away. I know I’ll be tired (for the next 20 years), but I know that God can also be my strength. Being a mother can be frustrating at times, but I need to be showing God’s love to my children instead of anger and frustration. It’s such a heavy thought that my children will learn and mimic my example. It’s such a simple fix to make the choice wake up and start your day thinking on truth and spending time with God…then trusting Him to take care of the rest.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” -Isaiah 26:3
“For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you.” – Isaiah 54:10
“Come to me, all who labor and are heave laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” – Matthew 11:28-30
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” – John 14:27