a love deeper than the sea…

image via pinterest
image via pinterest

It’s been a while since I have posted.  There isn’t a lot of time to blog these day, but truthfully….another reason I haven’t posted is because things just have been hard.  I’ve struggled so much with loneliness in the last few months….even more than usual.  I’ve struggled with negative thoughts.  I’ve struggled with patience….mostly with my children.  I’ve felt like a complete failure….as a wife….as a mom…as a daughter.  God has brought me through a lot of physical trials over the last few months, and has shown me His amazing love, and yet I’m always wanting more.  I always want to be accepted and loved by others…putting way too much importance and focus in that area of my life.

People ask me often how I do it all….having four kids and managing my own business as well.  From the outside…I’m sure it looks like I have it “all together”….but really…I don’t.  I get stressed….and extremely exhausted when I over commit.  God brought my appendectomy surgery surprise in December…which slowed me down for a few weeks, until I was back up to speed again.  Not to mention the fact that our sweet little Beckham has struggled with ear infections, RSV, and the flu TIMES TWO!  We have both visited the ER and Dr. offices a record breaking amount of times for only 2 months!  Sunday morning, I landed in the ER again….this time having an extremely fast heart rate that began on Friday.  When I say fast heart rate….it averages between 120-130, even while lying down.  This has happened randomly since I was a teenager.  Each time, it only lasts for a few hours…then subsides.  I have never had an EKG during the episodes until Sunday.  Everything life-threatening was ruled out, and after the heart rate was controlled, I was sent home with instructions to see my dr. as soon as possible. After my doctor reviewed the EKG the next day, she suspects I have a condition called SVT.  Nothing serious, but I will visit with a Cardio, and find out different ways to lower my heart rate the next time I have an episode.  I’m sure that all the stress I have put myself under contributed to the length of the episode.

I was in the ER for about 5 hours.  It felt like an eternity…and during that time I began to feel sorry for myself, the loneliness took over, and I felt completely hopeless.  I really just wanted to know why life has been so “hard” for us the last few months.  Self-pity…it’s a horrible struggle.

Thankfully God has been so faithful, and has brought so many instances, verses, songs into my life this week that have brought me back to reality.  Monday morning, I had to take Beckham to the ENT…I was so exhausted and didn’t know how I could do it all.  I saw my sweet OBGYN outside as I left the medical building…he greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the forehead.  He was an amazing Dr. during some very difficult pregnancies of mine…and a wonderful man of God!  I can’t tell you how much I needed that hug, and how perfect the timing was that I saw Him out there.  When I visited my Dr. monday afternoon, she said to me after listening to the events of the last couple months….”It seems like God gives us too much…more than than we can handle.  But He never leaves us alone…He walks with us through the trials.”  Amazing.  God brought two people into my life that very day to show me His love…and wrap His loving arms around me through His people.

I want to share some of the verses that have been such an encouragement to me this week.  I’m praying they will be an encouragement to you!

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you” -Duet 31:6

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.” Jeremiah 17:7

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Rom 8:28

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace” Ephesians 1:7

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” -Matthew 10:29-31

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I Peter 5:6-7

THIS SONG, Sovereign, by Chris Tomlin has been playing on repeat. It’s amazing. All my life…held in His hands.  All my dreams…held in His hands.

I am so thankful for the amazing truth that He is enough…and that His love for me is unconditional and SO VAST.  Nothing I can do will separate me from that love.  His plans, everything He brings into my life, everything He takes away….it’s for my good.  It’s for HIS glory.


My 24-day Advocare Challenge Results & Review

24 day resultsI gave an update a couple weeks ago on how my 24-day Advocare Challenge was going.  I was so proud to finish it over the weekend.  I’ll be honest, there were some tears shed, and there were a few days where things got ugly and I almost threw in the towel.  I wasn’t seeing any weight drop off, and I became very discouraged.  I struggle with the scale anyways….I wanted to see results….and many do see those results very quickly with the challenge (average weight loss on the Advocare 24-Day Challenge is 12lbs and 10 inches), so I was struggling with comparing my results to others as well!  I’m so glad I took the before and after photos, because you can most definitely tell a difference!

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I lost 2 pounds, and 7.5 inches.  The hips don’t lie…I lost almost 3 inches in that area alone!  Those chocolate chips were going straight to that area!  You can tell that my tummy looks less bloated as well as my face.  A bigger difference is in how I FEEL.  Before the challenge I was struggling with my mood, insomnia, energy throughout the day and struggling a LOT with emotional eating.  I could tell a difference within a few days….I had so much more energy, I didn’t feel tired throughout the day, and I was able to sleep through the night.  This is huge for me, as a busy mom of four trying to keep up!  I didn’t struggle giving up the diet coke and coffee as I have in the past, because the spark really got me through the day! I was able to get up when my alarm went off, which has also been a HUGE struggle for me in the last few months.

I ENJOY eating healthy again – fruit tastes amazing, and I am having so much fun finding recipes that my family likes that I can also eat as well!  Landon uses the Spark as well, and has eliminated all other drinks from his diet as well.  I love that he enjoys eating clean with me!

I wanted to answer a few questions that I had during the process:

Why did you have to purchase the challenge?  Couldn’t you have just done this on your own?
I have done a clean eating diet in the past, and it was wonderful for me, but I really needed a push.  I needed to spend the money and make the commitment so I would stick with it.  I don’t regret it one bit, and I will continue using Advocare products in my daily life (spark, catalyst, omegaplex).  I may even do another challenge again in the future!

What is the Advocare 24-day challenge and what does it consist of?
Advocare is a nutritional company, and the challenge consists of supplements and a nutrition program that helps give your body the jumpstart it needs to be healthy, and reach your goals.  It’s for weight management, energy, and overall wellness.  I chose it, because I needed the extra energy, nutrition, and I needed the commitment to cut the bad habits I had with diet coke and sugar.  You get to eat amazing, healthy and clean foods, and I never felt hungry because I was fueling my body correctly.

Did you cheat?
I had two decaf lattes made without milk during the process.  I also had three M&M’s on the last day of the challenge while I was in the hospital with Beckham.  That was it…and I didn’t even feel bad about those, because 95% of the time I was on track!

So here’s what the challenge contains:
You can see the details here.  The first ten days of the challenge is the cleanse phase – which rids your body of so many toxins.  The second phase is the Max Phase – which gives you energy and revs up your metabolism.  It’s a lot of info, so go HERE to watch the challenge overview!

I’m still feeling GREAT and trying my best to eat clean, and stay away from sugar.  I did eat a “cheat” meal saturday night.  I got grilled chicken and sweet potato fries.  Innocent right?  We were eating with friends and in the middle started having some extreme stomach pains!  I seriously thought there was something wrong, I was so sick all night!  Lesson learned.

I am so excited about how amazing I feel, and I of course love to share anything that I find helpful with others!  I had a wonderful support system during my challenge, and a great facebook challenge group where everyone shared recipes, ideas, and encouragement! I would love to help you if you have any questions about the products or challenge.  I am a distributor, so I would love to help you if you are interested in purchasing the challenge!

Here are some of my favorite bloggers for inspiration and recipes!  You will be inspired by their transformations!